Sex Pistols Middle Eastern Tour Begins in Baghdad

by Velvet Elvis
embedded with the 101st.

Kicking off their "Anarchy In The Middle East" tour, a revamped Sex Pistols played a standing-room-only stadium concert inside the Green Zone in Baghdad last night. The group even stayed for two unheard-of encores, tearing through incendiary versions of "Einmal War Belsen Wirflich Bortrefflich (Belsen Vos a Gassa)" and "No One Is Innocent."

When asked why the Sex Pistols chose the launch their new tour here, Johnny Rotten spat, "The 'ole f#&king world is going down the toilet, an' it's beginnin' right 'ere. We want to be part of 'istory."

Such a concert in Baghdad would have been impossible two years ago, Rotten added, crediting President Bush with bringing democracy to the 15-block walled area inside of Baghdad.

There were glitches. Electrical power to the area failed twice, brownouts were common, and what was initially thought as pyrotechnics gone awry turned out to be blowback from Apache attack helicopters, bombing targets in nearby Sadr City.

Further problems developed after the concert when guitarist Steve Jones discovered Arabic script written in lipstick from a prostitute on his dressing room mirror. Two hours later, a translator was finally located, who interpreted the writing as, "Death to British and American Imperialist Dogs." A cultural liaison was later brought in to explain that the message was probably a request to leave the country.

I asked Rotten what future plans the Pistols had. "We want to spread our Anarchy through the f#&king area," he said. "We will follow it wherever it goes."

When asked where the Pistols are going next, Rotten replied:

"Iran."